One of my unpublished old columns from 2006
It’s November which means two things don’t forget to vote and it’s time to hear yours truly dish. This month marks my second to last column for the paper but don’t get it twisted I’m still going to do what you expect me to. Give it to you straight with no chaser. This month’s topic entails the age old question “Do you need a significant other or should you stay solo?” Well guess what? I’m going to answer that exact question all while being my usual delightfully cheeky and blunt self.
First at hand is the Idea of being single. No restrictions, nobody to check up on and no risk of wasting “x” amount of years on something that was obviously never going anywhere. You basically have free reign of your life and have no one to answer to. But do you need a boy or girlfriend? The following factors may help you determine if you do or don’t.
- If you’re an independent spirit much like myself you may not want to get involved in a relationship, firstly you may feel you need not answer to anyone as far as your actions go.
- Secondly you want to maintain your freedom and sense of identity. Now I’m not saying that those in relationships are automatically sucked into some sort of cult, perhaps on the figurative side as far as “I’s” becoming “We’s “ go but this is where the similarities go…at least until marriage!
- Next is the fact that relationships produce stress. Not to mention a random array of questions such as “Where is he?” “Who is he with?” and many others that can have a girl paranoid like a mofo.
- My fourth reason is one my ladies may grit their teeth at. The best friend factor. Yes I know we all have the one chick we’ve known since Eve but we don’t trust her for half a second with a love interest. This may not just be your girlfriend but friends in general certain situations breed jealousy for females and males alike.
In the words of Chris Rock “A man can see his boys with a female and say I want a girl like that” but a woman will want that exact man.
Remember to keep your guard up in this case and whatever you do don’t back down in the name of civility
Now on to that lovely state known as a relationship. Relationships are complicated this is true but if you do decide to enter the land of candy hearts and petty fights please keep pointer#3 in mind. Now I’m going to list what I feel are the Pro’s and Con’s of being in a relationship. Given that you manage to make it past the awkward date moments and annoying parents your relationship may be headed for either smooth or rocky waters but here go my pointers:
- Do you have security issues? Not finance wise, but as far as boundaries within the relationship. If so getting into a relationship may not be the right thing for you to do if you are not secure in yourself. In simple terms you can love no one until you love yourself.
- Now on to the finances of the matter. Money isn’t everything but I feel that it is beneficial to a relationship that either one or both persons involved have a source of income. Not trying to come off sounding like a gold digger but when was the last time you heard of a free date? Things cost money. Understand this or keep it moving.
- Being in a relationship can help you gain prospective on the type of person you may want to marry. This makes a good learning tool.
- Finally please under no circumstances settle or follow what your friends do to fit in. Yes this is a college but peer pressure still exists. Get involved with someone for long term purposes because you feel the need to.
Forget everyone else and like the song says “Do You” Let me close by saying whether you decide to get involved with someone or chill for the moment understand that there is good and bad in everything. How you choose to deal with these are up to you.